Strawberry Milkshake Chainsaw
by YogixGareki Always
Summary: Lucy is your average preppy cheerleader at Fairy High, but she has a big secret. It's July 1, Lucy's 18th Birthday. Yay! When she goes to school to meet up with her hot boyfriend, she gets a big birthday surprise. Based off the video game Lollipop Chainsaw. It will not get repetitive so making it past the 1st chap. will be worth your while. Best chap is Chapter 5
1. Ch 1 Total Birthday Bummer

**I do not own anything **

**Just a little heads up. Characters might be OOC but not completely.**

**Total Birthday Bummer**

Lucy sat up in her bed and yawned as she stretched her arms. Sunlight streamed through the window beside her bed illuminating the room with its warm light. Today was gonna be great! First because today was July 1 her birthday (Yay!) and second today her wonderful boyfriend would meet her family (double yay!).

"Today will be sooo awesome" Lucy exclaimed while she jumped out of bed. She glanced at the clock on her dresser and realized she was five minutes late to meet up with her boyfriend.

"Ugh! No way! He'll be seriously pissed ." Lucy ran to her closet and threw on her white and gold cheerleading uniform for Fairy Tail High, slid on her matching thigh high socks, slipped on her white tennis shoes and strapped on her brown belt that carried her cell, vanilla lip gloss, strawberry milkshake flavored candy, and her black whip. Lucy dashed over to her mirror and put her hair into two low pigtails tied with white hair ties. The she ran over to her door snatched up her pink duffel bag, and darted down the stairs and outside where she mounted her pink and blue bike racing to school.

Lucy rode down the streets humming the newest pop song by her fave singer.

Pulling up to the school gate, she was welcomed by a group of moaning zombies.

"Ugh what are these smelly jerks doing here!" she spat with disgust as while unmounting her bike. She frustratedly yanked her duffel bag off, pulled out a glowing chainsaw, and revved it up.

_**Lucy Heartfilia, 18**_

_**Head over heels for: Gray Fullbuster**_

_**Faves Weapon: Celestial Chainsaw**_

_**Faves Food: Strawberry Milkshake (Yum)**_

_**Hobbies: Writing, Cheerleading, Gymnastics, and decapitating the undead (ya know the usual)**_

Running to the the gate with her chainsaw raised in her hands, she slashed through the lock that kept the zombies inside. The gold gates flew open and zombies poured out limping/running to her yelling "Huuuuunnnnnggggrrrrrryyyy"

"Uh uh not today, it's my birthday!" she slashed at the first zombie that tried to grab her quickly splitting him down the middle. The slashing continued until a bus came at her full speed. Lucy jumped a side aerial over the bus. Landing on her feet, she swiveled around to see the bus in flames.

"Looks like the way it closed" the cheerleader muttered to herself.

"Heeeellllppppp" someone squealed in the distance, causing Lucy's head to snap in the direction of the distress call.

"Let the games begin" Lucy grinned devilishly racing toward the plea for help. Halfway through the parking lot another deranged zombie drove a school bus in an attempt to hit her.

"Oh no you don't you maggot magnet" Lucy warned, jumping onto the roof of the bus when it got close to her. As soon as she did that, the zombie swerved the bus and hit one of the walls in the parking lot. The impact made the blonde fly off the bus, luckily she landed on her feet after a fall like that. _Thank you 15 years of gymnastics _she thought.

"Oh God please someone!" the person screamed distracting Lucy from her thought.

"Right! I'm coming "

Running around the corner, she saw one of her classmates being cornered by four swaying zombies.

"Hey! Over here!" The small group of zombies turned their gaze to the blonde revving up the chainsaw in her hand.

"Rrrraaaaagggggghhhhhh" they correctly moaned while shuffling to her.

"Yea yea rrraaaggghhh back at you" she replied in a sassy manner. Dragging the chainsaw behind her, she raced to the zombies. As soon as she was in close distance to the first zombie, she swung her chainsaw at its neck easily beheading it. The three other zombies looked down at the firsts body and screamed "B***h!" and charged for her.

"Whatever" she said cleanly slicing the heads off of all three zombies at once.

The girl who was shrinking in the corner early looked at Lucy and said "That was super cool, you're like a badass."

"Thanks" she replied cheerfully. "Hold on I'll call someone to take you somewhere safe." Lucy reached for her cell and dialed the number.

"Hey Romero, it's Lu there's like a zombie outbreak at my school and I may need you to come and pick up some non zombified people for me. Kay? Bye"

In two minutes a helicopter came and picked up the girl. Lucy waved at the pilot and shouted a thanks. He gave her a thumbs up and flew away.

She checked the time on her phone. "Oh my God, Gray is going to kill me for being 20 minutes late"

Lucy raced to the park area at the school still carrying her glowing chainsaw._ Good no more zombies in sight._

When she reached the park entrance, she knew something was completely off. Walking into the park, she stuttered calling "G-Gray? Where are you? P-Please be ok"

She was standing at the fountain, when a zombie crept up on her.

"Watch out Lu!" a male voice called out.

Lucy turned around to see a zombie right behind her ready to bite.

Fortunately a pair of arm wrapped around its neck forcing it into a headlock. The zombie broke out of it, pushed the person on the ground, and wrestled with them. Lucy realized her hero was her hot boyfriend Gray. "Gray watch out! He's gonna bite you" Lucy warned.

But it was too late. The zombie bit off a nice sized chunk of Gray's arm. "Noooo" Lucy shrieked at the same time Gray yelled out in pain. "Hhhunnnnngggrrryyy" the zombie moaned leaning in to get another bite. Lucy ran over and kicked the zombie in the head making it fly off of Gray. She walked over to the zombie with its back lying on the ground.

"Huuuunnnnnggggrrrrrrrryyyyyy" the zombie moaned again.

"Oh yea? Well I got somethin for ya green soulless body bag!" Lucy screamed while revving up her chainsaw.

She pointed the weapon down and stuck it in the zombies mouth. The head instantly split in half. Lucy ran over to where Gray was lying cradling his bloody bitten arm.

_**Gray Fullbuster 18**_

_**Fave food: anything cold**_

_**Hobbies: Stripping, arguing, and speed stripping**_

"Gray? Are you ok?" she asked feeling a lump of guilt form in her throat. _This wouldn't have happened if i was paying attention_

"Yeah" he managed to say. He got quiet and then said "I'm going to turn into one of those things aren't I?"

Lucy nodded incapable of saying anything.

"Lucy it's ok don't cry" Gray cupped her face with his good hand.

Lucy didn't realize she was crying but sure enough tears were streaming down her face.

"Gray," she sniffled,"I don't want to lose you, especially on my birthday."

"It's okay Lucy, I didn't mean to mess up your birthday, but you won't lose me cuz

I... love you"

At that Lucy sobbed. "I love you too Gray"

Out of nowhere an idea popped up in her head making Lucy gasp.

"What's wrong" worry started to creep into Gray's voice.

Lucy shook her head smiling. "Gray! I have an idea that could save you"

"Really what is that?"

Lucy stood up. "You're not gonna like it much" She grabbed the handle of her chainsaw.

"L-L-Lucy what are you doing?"

"Sorry baby but I can't give up on you, not right now"

Lucy revved up her chainsaw and brought it down to Gray's neck.

* * *

Gray started to wake up.

"-ay, -ray, Gray"someone called his name.

Slowly an image came into view, two round orbs appeared in front of him. He narrowed his eyes and realized his head was in her lap and he was staring at her breasts. Blushing her moved his head a little to look at her smiling face looking down at him.

"Where am I"

"At school in one of the classrooms"

"Was all that-" Gray started instantly remembering what happened.

"Real?" Lucy finished for him. "Yes and that reminds me...I... have something to tell you.

"Sure" Gray moved his head trying to sit up. He couldn't feel his body. He immediately panic seized him and thoughts filled his head _Was he paralyzed_

"Gray...baby...don't panic...I had to, it was for your own good."

"Lucy what did you do to me"

"I..uh had to decapitate you to save you from becoming a super gross zombie and if I didn't I would have to kill you and you know I could not bare doing that."

"Then how the hell am I still alive"

"I performed a super hard spell on you to keep your decapitated head alive"

"Lucy...how could you possibly perform a spell on me...you're not a witch are you?!"

"Nooo hahaha noo...but I...have... secret to tell you"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, you see I didn't tell you this because I didn't want you to think I was like crazy weird or anything but-"

Something moved in the corner of Gray's eyes, he moved his head to see zombies coming towards them.

"Uh Lucy I'd hate to interrupt you but-"

"Shhhh Gray I'm trying to tell you important."

"But Lucy theres-" he was interrupted when she put a finger over his lips.

"Gray please" she sternly said.

"LLLLLUUUUUCCCCCCYYYYYY THERE ARE ZOMBIES COMING"

Lucy frustratedly sighed, stood up, and carefully put Gray's head down on the desk beside them. She snatched up the chainsaw which glowed at her touch. Revving up the chainsaw she yelled "Damn it Gray, I'm a zombie hunter!" She kicked one of the zombies in the head, causing the zombie to stumble, then she sliced off his head.

"What?!"

Lucy looked back at Gray, winked, and flashed a smile at him. "Yup!"


	2. Ch 2 Tear in Dimensions

_**I do not own **__**anything**_

**Tear in Dimensions**

**Previously**

_She snatched up the chainsaw which glowed at her touch. Revving up the chainsaw she yelled "Damn it Gray, I'm a zombie hunter!" She kicked one of the zombies in the head, causing the zombie to stumble, then she sliced off his head._

"_What?!"_

_Lucy looked back at Gray, winked, and flashed a smile at him. "Yup!"_

* * *

"Hya!" Lucy yelled when she roundhoused a zombie, the impact from the kick sent the zombie flying into the other two that were behind it, in a flash the zombies were beheaded.

Lucy returned to Gray and picked his head up.

"You're pretty strong"

"Thanks!"

"Soooo...how is this gonna work out?"

"Huh? What are you talking about Gray" Lucy was confused.

"The head thing...how can you carry me and the chainsaw at the same time?"

"Oh! That's easy I just hook you onto my hip lllliiiiiiiiiikkkkeee. This!" Lucy hooked Gray's head onto her brown utility like belt and clapped a short cheery clap.

"Alright Gray! You ready?"

"I guess"

Lucy squealed, picked up her chainsaw and walked out of the classroom.

The hallways were trashed, blood splatters here and there on the walls, locker doors hanging of the hinges, broken glass scattered on the ground as well as papers.

"This place look like a hell hole" Gray muttered.

"Well you didn't expect a place that had a zombie outbreak to be neat did you?"

Gray sweatdropped. "Uh Lu...I didn't even know zombies were real til today."

Lucy shrugged. They continued to walk until they saw a horde of zombies gathered in one of the class rooms.

When they entered the room, the head zombie pivoted around to face them.

"Look it's Mr. Fitzgerald the pre-cal teacher" Lucy said pointing.

"It's Mr. Fitzgerald bi***" the zombie screamed.

"Duh I just said that weren't you listening"

Out nowhere the zombified teacher screamed"Get them!" and jumped out of the classroom window.

"Ooooohhhhh- kaaaaaaaayyyyyy" Gray said.

The cheerleader charged at the zombies not even bothering to turn it one as she cut the zombies through the middle one by one.

When she finished she checked herself making sure there was no zombie blood splattered on her uniform. Satisfied that she didn't see a speck of blood she raced back out the door and ran through the hall in the direction of the cafeteria, the sound of her sneakers slapping against the floor echoed in the hallway.

"Hey...Lu...cy...where..are...we..go...ing" Gray said his head bouncing on her hip while she ran.

"I have to find Master Makarov"

"Who..is..that.."

"He's my sensei" she energetically replied. They reached the cafeteria doors. Lucy kicked it open and walked into the room.

"There he is right there! Hey Master Makarov!" Lucy waved to the short old man wearing some weird orange get up.

He turned around and faced them. "Yo"

_**Makarov Dreyar 88**_

_**Hometown: Magnolia, Fiore**_

_**Favorite Food: Beer**_

_**Hobbies: teacher, being a father figure, drinking**_

He walked over to Lucy and saw Gray clipped on her belt.

"Lucy, it looks like you've really gotten A HEAD in life" he chuckled.

"Gray this is Master Makarov, he is one of the ten zombie hunting saints. And Master this is Gray Fullbuster, my hottie boyfriend of 9 months."

"Nice to meet you Gray"

"Same to you"

"Anyway, Master lets get back to business. What's happening to our precious Fairy Tail High."

"Ahhh yes both of you listen carefully now. Something has upset the cosmic balance. You see the universe is made up of three different dimensions: Land Beyond Worlds, Rotten World, and our home dimension Earth.

Between each of these dimension are walls that separate each of them. But if one were to use a combination of black magic and explosives the wall would be easily destroyed. And that is exactly what someone did. They broke the barrier between Rotten World and Earth.

So now the gases of Rotten World are seeping through to Earth and contaminating the entire school making them become undead. The culprit behind all of this must be planning to make a permanent gate between our world and the undead world.

Unfortunately those who are zombified can not return to their former state. So Lucy, Gray it is our job to clean up the mess until we capture the villain behind it all."

"Do you both understand?" Lucy nodded a stiff nod and Gray said Yea.

"Good now let's go into the courtyard, I think that's where we'll meet our bomber.

They all walked over to the double doors on the opposite of the cafeteria.

* * *

As soon as they walked out of the cafeteria doors, a bomb detonated in the school.

"Whoa" They all said in unison as the power of the blast pushed them forward face first to the crowd. Luckily, both Master and Lucy braced themselves with their faces inches above the cement. Both recovered quickly. Lucy looked straight up at the sky, it was inky black.

"Look Lucy" Gray shouted.

She looked to the statue of Mavis the founding mother of the school and spied a figure standing on the head.

Lucy gasped "Gray, I know that guy! He went to school with us'

"Thats him! He's the bomber" Master said.

"I am filled with so much joy watching this wretched school and world burn and rot before my eyes. I want everyone and everything to suffer like I did. Life will now be a living Hell! the guy yelled.

_**Midnight( A.K.A Goth Geek Ba****d)18**_

_**Favorite Food: Pez**_

_**Hobbies: murder, planning on world domination,sleeping**_

_**Fun Fact: practices broody faces in the mirror**_

"Why Midnight? Why did you do this to our beloved school"

"What's wrong Little Lucy? You didn't have time to clean out your locker?"the goth sneered.


	3. Ch 3 Yikes! 5 Zombie Lords

**Yikes! 5 Zombie Lords**

"_I am filled with so much joy watching this wretched school ,no, this world burn and rot before my eyes. I want everyone and everything to suffer like I did. Life will now be a living Hell! the guy yelled._

"_Why Midnight? Why did you do this to our beloved school"_

"_What's wrong Little Lucy? You didn't have time to clean out your locker?"the goth sneered._

* * *

"Tch"

"Hey don't talk to Lucy that way! Wait til I get my hands on you! ….wait...erm...I...mean...nevermind" Gray said.

Midnight laughed at Gray's failed attempt at a threat.

Midnight opened the book he had in his hand. He pulled out a sharp end quill and pricked his finger, letting the blood from his finger drip onto the page. The book started to glow an eerie purple.

The goth smiled and started reading from the book.

"Malicious Lords, I invoke your dark forces in declaring myself Ruler of this Realm! As the pawn is present, may your ritual commence, and may the Dark Purveyors appear."

The book shot a beam of purple light into the dark sky during the summoning. A portal opened and five orbs of light spiraled out. The opening in the sky closed up and the five orbs of light spun around the statue and Midnight.

Lucy raised her arms to her face trying to protect herself from the violent winds coming from the rotating orbs.

A female voice came from the green orb saying,"Ugh this world makes me wanna PUKE!"

The other orbs laughed. "So you're the one who summoned us here?" the red one asked Midnight.

Midnight who was staring in awe at the things he summoned snapped out of his awe induced trance and answered "You're correct. I am your new master and I demand that you initiate the pawn in the ritual and rot every living thing in the school along the way."

"Master" the orbs all said in unison.

When he heard this, Midnight started laughing hysterically and said,"I did it! Now it's time to rot this school and everything in it to rot away!"

The purple orb exclaimed"I think I like this kid." The yellow orb laughed and agreed,"Forreal! He's a fucking headcase!"

Lucy put her arms down and looked up to Midnight. "What is your deal?"

Before he could reply the blue orb spoke up.

"That smell...she's a zombie hunter"

"Blech" the green orb playfully spat, making the other orbs laugh hysterically.

"Hey Master give us an order" the green orb demanded. The other orbs joined in repeating "Give us an order"

"Alright. Let the ritual commence Zed!" Midnight ordered.

The red orb detached itself from the rotation and crashed into the ground making Lucy and Master fall to the ground.

Lucy quickly got up and looked at the spot where the red orb crashed into. There was a puddle of blood and a pale head with a spiky red mohawk emerged.

"Lets play" it said. The head looked up and she could see gruesome pierced face of the zombie lord.

Lucy jumped back and made a look of disgust at it.

He looked her in the eye and yelled "PISS OFF." The words materialized in the air into large bulky red and black letters. The words flew to Lucy and pushed her back with tremendous force sending the girl flying back.

After what seemed like a minute of cartwheeling in mid-air, Lucy fell to the ground.

"Oh hell" Gray grunted.

Lucy looked up and saw that they landed in a junkyard.

"Welcome to Zed the Punk's play pin" the zombie lord declared.


	4. Ch 4 Junkyard Jerk

**Junkyard Jerk**

_He looked her in the eye and yelled "PISS OFF." The words materialized in the air into large bulky red and black letters. The words flew to Lucy and pushed her back with tremendous force sending the girl flying back._

_After what seemed like a minute of cartwheeling in mid air, Lucy fell to the ground._

"_Oh hell" Gray grunted._

_Lucy looked up and saw that they landed in a junkyard._

"_Welcome to Zed the Punk's play pin" the zombie lord declared._

* * *

Zed laughed like a maniac and screamed,"I'm gonna rock your brains out -literally!"

Lucy jumped to her feet and picked up the chainsaw that landed beside her.

"Ugh that My Chemical Romance wannabe is trashing Fairy Tail High!" Lucy declared.

"Oh I like that song "Teenager". Have you heard it?" Gray replied.

Lucy sweatdropped saying, "Uhm Gray...this is not the time to talk about music."

"Just saying" he muttered.

Lucy started walking through the maze of cars to get to the zombie punk. A few zombies came to attack her but she effortlessly decapitated them and continued on her way. The zombie punk continued to scream threats at her in his screechy irritating voice that reminded her of scraping metal.

"Ugh! I wish he would shut up! His voice is annoying as hell!" she screamed. A car that blocked her way was immediately split through the as she let out her frustration.

"Whoa Lu just chill out!" Gray called to her. Lucy nodded and kept going till they reached the stage where Zed was.

"Looks like he stacked the cars to make a stage for himself." Gray observed.

"Ugh total waste of a Volvo!"

"...Lucy this is no time to think about cars."

"Oops you're right, Well back to business." She jumped onto stage and looked at the spiky haired freak in front of her.

"Ooo look at the little cheerleader. Hahaha killing you will be sick," Zed said and stuck his tongue out.

**Zed- Punk Rock Zombie**

**Influences: The Misfits, Black Flag, torturing small animals**

"Whoa hold up" Lucy said holding up her hand. Then she pointed at Zed saying

"What kinda whack job waterboards Chip and Dale? That makes guyliner here the most uncool guy like ever!"

He laughed and said "Welcome to the MOSH pit baby"

"Grrr" Lucy charged to him ready to strike with her chainsaw. He easily ducked her swinging attack and kicked her legs out from under her.

Lucy fell on her butt really hard. When she got up, she rubbed her bum and asked Gray was he okay. He said yes.

"Hey you didn't forget about me did you" Zed screamed his microphone. The cheerleaders head snapped to his direction and she glared at him. He flashed the cheerleader a cold smile and raised the mic to his mouth. "VANILLA SL*T" he screeched into the microphone.

The word materialized in the air the same as it had before and flew to Lucy.

She swiftly dodged the flying letters. The blonde ran over to Zed and managed to slash his arm tearing his undead flesh. Zed lifted his mic to his mouth again and said " You cut me you STUPID BITCH!"

Lucy ducked under the words this time.

"Seriously, what's with this guy and the alphabet" Gray yelled.

"I don't know but I'm sick of this game" Lucy said. She dashed over to Zed.

"You're voice is mega fucking annoying you Hot Topic sales rack reject" Lucy yelled as she brought down the chainsaw on his head. She tugged the chainsaw through his skull and the middle of his body, stopping when she reached the pelvic area.

Lucy smirked in satisfaction at killing a zombie lord.

"Hey Lucy" Gray said.

"Yup"

"Don't you think killing him was too...easy?"

"What do you mean"

"Think about it, he just stood there when you ran to him, couldn't he have dodged your attack?"

Lucy thought for a minute. "I guess you're right about that."

Suddenly screechy laughter echoed around them. They both returned their attention to Zeds body that seemed to reanimate.

Zeds arms reached up and closed the gap that divided him in the middle.  
"Ooo little cheerleader do you think that hurt me?" he sadistically smiled at her. He swung his arm and knocked her chainsaw a few feet away. Lucy glanced back at the chainsaw and back at Zed when he punched her in the stomach. The punch made her fall on her back. Zed stood over her and made a sharp spear like weapon appear. He poised the weapon right over the school emblem on the uniform in the middle of her chest. The clown smiled and said "I can't wait to make a hat out of your face" He brought down the weapon but Lucy rolled out of the way just in time. Lucy grabbed the whip that was on her hip and cracked it. The whip wrapped around Zeds wrist. She jerked the whip, causing Zed to lose his grip on the spear which flew behind him.

"Kinky little bitch aren't you?" Zed sneered. Lucy narrowed her eyes and jerked the whip hard enough to dislocate a wrist.

Zed laughed throwing his head back. When he did this fourteen speakers dropped onto the stage making Lucy lose her grip. Zed took the advantage and jumped onto the stereo nearest to him.

'Looks like you lose whore!"

Lucy scrambled over to her chainsaw. Her fingers wrapped around the handle just in time to cut through the speaker that fell from the sky.

Zed laughed and jumped from speaker top to speaker top like light. Lucy made a few attempts at hitting the clown looking punk rocker but failed because he jumped the next speaker in the blink of an eye.

"Lucy I figured it out. You have to destroy the speakers to get to him."

"Got it Gray"

Lucy went to every speaker and slashed them with her chainsaw. No more were left and it was time for Zed to face her like a real opponent.

Time skip

After 7 more minutes, Lucy could finally land her final attack on Zed. She brought her chainsaw down on his head again only this time she was sure the zombie clown would die.

His body started glowing a purple light and he chanted the words "Meus Vita, Rege, pro nefario coepto" and disappeared.

"Whoa is he doing voodoo?" Gray said his eyes growing to the side of a tennis ball.

Lucy waved it away. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

"Lucy-san you did it"

Lucy turned around to see her small master limp out the shadows covered in blood and scratches.

"Master!" Lucy rushed over to him as soon as she was near him he collapsed. She cradled him in her arms as he wheezed and gasped for air.

"Master how...what happened?"

"I...got...a map" Makarov sat up a bit and pulled a map out of his pocket then spread it out.

"Look...it's a map of the...school. It seems that Zed...was the...weakest of the Dark Purveyors. The other four are...spread out across the school...and have probably turned your...classmates into zombies by now."

Lucy gasped.

"Mr. Dreyar" Gray said in disbelief.

"Lucy and Gray, I know that you can stop them. But understand that all humans must die as I must now too." Makarov collapsed back on the ground.

Lucy shook him. "No no Master get up. Please" Tears started to blur her vision.

Suddenly Makarov sprung back up making Lucy jerk back.

"Oh wait! Lucy I never gave you your birthday present." He reached into his pocket and gave her a white box with a red bow on the top.

"Happy Birthday Lucy, you were always my favorite pupil." Makarov collapsed back on the floor.

"Nooo Master!" Lucy sat there for a minute weeping over the man who taught her how to become a master zombie hunter.

Gray respected her mourning and kept quiet. Lucy finally stopped crying and decided to unwrap her gift.

"Whoa look what Master gave me!" She pulled out a new chainsaw.

"Uh Lucy? It's just another chainsaw"

"No Gray this chainsaw is infused with a motorcycle. It can help me charge through a horde of zombies faster!"

"Ok Lu"

"Well alright lets go Gray!"


	5. Ch 5 Thunder at Fairy Tail High

**Thunder at Fairy Tail High**

**I do not own anything**

_Recap: Lucy defeats the Punk Rocker zombie lord Zed. A dying Makarov comes and tells Lucy that her and Gray have to defeat the lords and save the school. He gives Lucy her birthday present and passes on._

* * *

Lucy and Gray follow the map and go to the stadium. They stop at the gates to take a break.

Lucy takes out her vanilla lip gloss and reapplies it, then she takes out a few pieces of her candy and offers it to Gray. Gray refuses.

"...Lucy...I don't think i can do this anymore...ya know being a head."

Lucy detached him from her hip and held his head up so that she could look at him.

"But Gray there's lots of cool things about being a head. First of all, I can put you in a bag and sneak you into a movie..FOR FREE!" the girl energetically squealed.

"That hardly make ups for-"

"Carpal tunnel syndrome? Totally immune" the blonde goaded.

"And think about it," she continued,"I am like the ONLY girl with decapitated head for a boyfriend!"

"Lucy, I don't think girls would find that cool... and I don't wanna be a fashion accessory. Lucy this is MY LIFE we're talking about."

Before Lucy could reply a few drops of blood landed on Gray's cheek.

"Huh? Is it raining?" he asked looking up at the sky. Lucy looked up too and saw a huge viking ship emerge from the dark clouds.

"Uh oh," Lucy said. She quickly wiped the blood off his cheek and re-clipped him back to her brown belt.

A loud voice thundered from the ship."Hello Skraelings!" Laughter and the sound of drums vibrated through the air. A bear roared out of nowhere and the voice from the ship responded saying,"Lots of tasty treats for you 'ere eh Yumil?"

Lighting started to strike the ground where Lucy and Gray were. She grabbed her chainsaw and dodged the first lightning strike by doing a front aerial.

"Whoa!"Gray said. When a second strike came down, she dodged it by hitting a back handspring.

"Soo I'm guessing the huge, floating Viking ship is not a good thing." Gray whispered.

Lucy shook her head and said," Nuh uh. It's another Dark Purveyor." Lucy saw something on the ship stern; she narrowed her eyes and gasped.

"What?" Gray asked in an alert tone.

"Oh my gosh! It's Erza!" she said pointing at the figure on the ship.

"Who?"

"She's my older adopted sister and she's a zombie hunter!"

Lucy ran to a spot where she could be seen more clearly.

"Hey! Eeeerrrrrzzzzzaaaaa! Caaaan you hear me!?" Lucy yelled as she jumped up and down.

Erza turned around slightly and spotted the loud and excited blonde.

"HEY! WHAT'S UP LUCY?!" she called as she waved.

"Caaaan you hear me!?" Lucy repeated.

Erza gave her a small nod and saluted.

_**Erza Scarlet Heartfilia, 20**_

_**A.k.a:Titania**_

_**Fave weapon:L115A3 long-range rifle**_

_**Turn-ons: guns, strawberry shortcake, pumping bullets in her enemies, any kind of cake**_

_**Turn-offs:sea monsters, the color blue, talking in the movie theaters**_

_**Fun fact:**__** NEVER TOUCH HER CAKE UNLESS YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE **_

"Hey Erza, what's up?!" Gray yelled.

"See ya in a few! Right now I'm gonna go kick some zombie ass! Oh yea and Lucy. Here's your present!" She pulled a white box with a pink bow on the top and threw it to Lucy. A little matching parachute came out and floated the present downward.

"Happy Birthday Lucy!" she yelled and then continued to climb up to stern.

"She is soo cool!" Lucy exclaimed.

"God, I'm happy I don't have a bladder. Otherwise I'd be pissing myself by now,"Gray said to himself.

Lucy walked through the gates when suddenly a lightning bolt struck the ground making ten zombie football players appear in front of the stadium doors. Lucy put the chainsaw on dash mode, embedded it in the ground and charged at a fast speed toward the zombies, tearing up gravel as she went. A tree fell in her way but that didn't stop the blonde as she front flipped over it and continued racing to the zombies.

When she got to the first zombie she quickly paused, lifted up the chainsaw above her head and brought it down in a lunge,all in one fluid motion. The chainsaw went right through the zombies chest, making it spit and choke on its own blood. As soon as the zombie collapsed she turned her attention to the one that snuck up behind her. She aimed for the legs and quickly cut them into bloody stumps. The legless zombie fell to the ground and grabbed her hand. She shook it off with one swift jerk and brought her foot down on its head hard enough to crush the skull.

"Behind you," Gray called to Lucy. She glanced at the new zombie that was behind her and elbowed it in the face making the head whip back with impressive force. She swung the chainsaw up, brought it behind her shoulder, like a baseball player would set up to swing at the base, and she swung the chainsaw right through the zombies neck. She pivoted her foot to spin around and face the other zombies.

"Look Gray! Our star quarterback Laxus is a zombie,"Lucy pouted.

"Kill him anyway," Gray demanded. Lucy yanked her whip from her belt and lashed her whip which wrapped around the quarterbacks foot. Lucy yanked the whip and he came down with a thud.

"Arrrrggggggggghhhhh" Laxus said as he struggled. When she went over to him,the other six zombies came attacking her but she dodged the attacks and beheaded them with ease. She finally returned her attention to Laxus who had escaped from the whip's grip. He lunged for her but she sidestepped and turned around just in time before he could grab her hair. Lucy landed a punch in his gut, but it wasn't good enough because he grabbed her shoulders and shoved her to the ground. The cheerleader landed hard on her back.

"Ouch! Gray are you ok?"

'Yeah I bumped my head just a little" he replied.

"Sorry"Lucy said.

"Huuunnnngggrrrrryyy" Laxus groaned as he grabbed her right arm and lifted her off the ground to face him. Her chainsaw clattered to the ground below her. _I never knew he was this tall_ Lucy thought when she realized her feet were dangling. He pulled her closer to his face and licked her face leaving a trail of blood and saliva on her cheek. Lucy cringed at the smell of rotting flesh and the feel of the saliva and blood on her cheek. He opened his mouth and was about to bite her when Gray called,

"Lucy! What are you waiting for? Kill him!"

At that instance, she brought her knees up to her chest and then kicked both legs out hitting Laxus square in the chest. The impact made the quarterback fall back and lose his grip on Lucy. She landed on the ground in crouch. Lucy grabbed her chainsaw and stood over Laxus.

"I am sooo sorry Laxus but I have to." Lucy revved up the chainsaw and squeezed her eyes shut as she brought the chainsaw down to his chest. But, she didn't feel the chainsaw hit a body, but the ground. Her eyes flew open to see that Laxus had rolled out-of-the-way and was already on his grabbed her knife out of her belt as he tackled her and pinned her to the ground.

"Noooooo gaaaaammmmmeeeesss just eeeaaaaatttttt" Laxus said again.

"No way I'm not zombie food," Lucy yelled. She gripped the knife in her hand and buried it in Laxus chest right in between one of the gaps between the rib bones. Lucy pushed the knife in deeper causing to Laxus roar in pain.

"That's not even the worst of it,"Lucy mumbled. She put her left hand on the bottom of the knife as she thrust the embedded knife up under the bone and cut through the heart.

Laxus instantly went limp and fell on top of her completely. She shoved his heavy body off of her and stood up, brushing her skirt off.

"Where are we going next?"Gray asked.

"First we are going to go get my present that Erza gave me cuz the wind blew it away from us and then we are going to go help Erza beat that Dark Purveyors ass."

* * *

_**Hi guys I have a few things I wanna say. First off I do not hate Laxus. Just because I killed him doesn't mean anything.**_

_** Second I wanna thank**_** EternityOfSnow, Kiddo206, and Madeline-chan09 **_**for following the story. I also wanna thank the positive reviews from **_**Madeline-chan09, MinaBlahBlahBlahAnimeFan, Dragon Slayer Lover is here, and Touiyu, **_**as well as the two favorites from**_** Madeline-chan09 and MinaBlahBlahBlahAnimeFan. **

**Third I just wanna say I think my fighting scene was this best in this chapter than the other 4, I am super confident in it and hoped you enjoyed it.**** Please review if you like the fighting and the little extra part with Laxus in it. ****Thanks!**


	6. Ch 6 Zoms Poms and a Gun

**Zoms, Poms, a Baton, and a Gun**

**I do not own anything**

_Recap: Lucy and Gray followed the map and went to the stadium. When they get their they see a huge Viking ship in the sky. It is the next Dark Purveyor. Also they met Erza, Lucy's adopted older sibling, and defeat a group of zombified football players plus Laxus._

_[ I'm sooo sorry Laxus :( ]_

_**Warning: this chapter is probably the worst ever but I added it in anyway. Feel free to skip it. If you do skip I will give a recap in Chapter 7 which will be ALOT better than this chapter.**_

* * *

Lucy kicked open the large brown doors to the stadium building. She walked through the doors and immediately scanned the corridor. Satisfied that she didn't find any zombies, she walked in the direction of the girls locker room where the entrance out to the field was.

"Hey Gray what's your favorite color?"

"Blue..No green." Gray replied.

"Awesome! I love learning about you!" Lucy squealed.

"...I fucked up. It's yellow."

"GRAY! Make up your mind."

"It's yellow I promise." Lucy laughed at Gray's comment.

When they reached the girl's locker room, they heard a girl scream for help. Lucy immediately braced herself for some more zombie hunting as she opened the door to see six zombie cheerleaders surrounding a girl who was covering her ears. The zombies chanted

"Go! Die! Zombie Scum!

Ready?! OK. Undead WE SLAY!

You all SUCK,

and We're GREAT

D-D-Decapitate

U-G-L-Y

Wake up cuz it's time to DIE!"

"Oh hell no my squad is zombified, and their cheers suck!,"Lucy yelled. The zombie cheerleaders all turned their heads to the zombie hunter.

"Yea you heard me! So bring your sorry cheer butts over here and receive your punishment!"

Gray sweatdropped and said," Lucy I don't think this is the time for-"

"Gray please. Don't you see I am about to give them their punishment. The cheer gods will never forgive me if I do not set these girls on the right path of cheer righteousness,"Lucy interrupted.

"Uhh..ok?"

"Thank you!" Lucy looked challengingly at the zombie cheerleaders as she walked to one of the lockers. She walked to her cheer locker, opened it and got out her pom poms and baton. When she slammed the locker door shut, the zombie cheerleaders stopped staring and glared at her.

"Shut up cheer sl*t" one of them yelled. The others agreed shouting insults and threats at Lucy.

The blonde put on a bored look and yawned. When the cheerleaders stopped screaming at her, Lucy stopped inspecting her nails and looked up at the group.

"I'm so glad to hear how you ladies felt towards me, because it makes killing you easy."Lucy said flashing them a devilish smirk as she laid her chainsaw down on the floor next to her and gripped her pom poms.. Lucy looked at the cheerleaders reaction to her remark and by the looks of it they were pissed. They started running towards Lucy. The one that called her a cheer sl*t was the first to get to her and tried to land front kick in Lucy's chest. Lucy quickly grabbed her foot and jerked to the right making the other girl fall ungracefully to the floor.

"Nice try,"Lucy said to the fallen zombie girl. Another zom girl attempted to punch Lucy in the face, but Lucy ducked. That made the zom fall forward which gave Lucy an opening to head butt the girl square in the stomach. The girl fell backward onto the other cheerleaders and they all fell into a pile. Lucy reached down and picked up her chainsaw. She walked over the pile of cheerleaders and revved the chainsaw.

"It has been a pleasure being your captain for the last three years,"Lucy said before she started hacking and slicing their bodies. When Lucy stopped, she walked over to the girl who was still cowering in the corner. When she stopped in front her and held out her hand, the other girl cowered even more.

"Don't worry I won't hurt you,"Lucy said trying to soothe the frightened girl. The girl hesitated before she grabbed Lucy's hand and stood up.

"Ok I need you to go back outside, there will be a helicopter out there waiting for you. They will take you home safely."Lucy instructed the girl.

"Oh and you might wanna go to therapy after this."Gray said to the girl as she walked out of the door and outside.

She clipped her pom poms on the opposite side of her hips and threw her baton on the floor Lucy walked to the double the double doors that led to the field and went outside.

"Hey there's my gift do you see it Gray,"Lucy said as she pointed to the gift box that was falling over the bleachers. She darted to the area in the stands and jumped over the railing. She quickly ran up to the top of the stands and yanked her whip from off her hip. Cracking it, she made the whip wrap around the strings of the parachute and yanked it making the box fly to her direction.

Ok I can not put you through this torture anymore I will just do a short summary on what happens next. Lucy gets Erza's birthday present which is a chainsaw gun. She is so excited yada yada yada. Lucy and Gray go to the other side of the field to get to the schools huge swimming pool where Gray thinks the large Viking ship landed. Lucy runs down the hall and opens the double doors to the swimming pool area. Sure enough like Gray said there was the Viking ship that crashed through the roof and landed in the swimming pool. Lucy sees Erza on the top of the diving board with her peering through her riflescope. Then the end. Tadaaaaa~!


	7. Ch 7 Bringin the Ship Down

**Bringin the Ship Down **

**I do not own anything**

_Recap: Lucy fights off a few zombified cheerleaders, and gets her birthday present from Erza which is a badass chainsaw gun with some very powerful bullets. Our blonde cheerleader go to the massive swimming pool at their school to find the Viking ship crashed through the roof and Erza who was locking in on her target._

* * *

Erza was kneeling on the diving board trying to get a good look at the Dark Purveyor.

"Hey Erza!"she heard to her right. Erza's gaze snapped to right only to see her sis Lucy. She held up a finger up to her lips signaling her sister to be quiet. Lucy nodded. Erza stood up and jumped down from her perch landing in front of Lucy. Erza saw something swinging on her sisters hip.

She lifted her gun and whispered," Lucy there's something on you hip."

"Oh no Erza its just my boyfriend Gray,"Lucy whispered back.

"Uh hey Erza how's it goin?"Gray awkwardly whispered to the red head. Erza nudged his head with her gun and said,"Heey he's cute."

"Ouch,"Gray said trying give the redhead the obvious message that he was in pain. But that little exclamation didn't seem to faze the redhead whatsoever as she continued curiously poking and nudging the boy.

"Thanks!"Lucy squealed.

"Yeah the whole no body thing is cool. I don't have to worry about gaining any weight. Food would like just fall out of my neck,"Erza said in utter amazement

"OMG then I wouldn't be as gross and fat as I am now!"Lucy energetically added.

"I don't want chewed food falling out of my neck that's disgusting!" Gray announced while trying to dodge the barrel of Erza's rifle by moving his head from side to side.

Suddenly the sound of clashing cymbals vibrated through the air. The group tuened their heads to see a big zombie lord with a stark white face. He wore black makeup around his eyes, which made his white eyes look more pronounced, had long seaweed like black hair that flowed from under a horned viking hat, wore viking attire, and a large bear head was resting on his right shoulder.

The large viking zombie sat behind a set of drums and started to play them. The ship started to rise in the air as the large man laughed and shouted,"Bye bye Skraelings! Onward to victory!"

Lucy and Erza looked at each other.

"Lucy! Quick execute maneuver 42H!"Erza commanded while she turned around and ran to the other side of the room.

"Right,"Lucy said gripping her chainsaw and charged towards Erza who was now kneeling slightly and cupping both of her hands over her bent knee.

Erza began the countdown.

"One"

"Two"Lucy joined. Lucy quickly closed the distance between the two of them.

"Three!"The sisters said in unison. On that instant Lucy put on foot it Erza's cupped hands and Erza quickly lifted up her hands, launching Lucy straight into the air toward the ship.

Erza looked up at her sister flying through the air and called after them saying," Good luck sis!. …..Oh yea! And her hot head boyfriend whose name I forget!"

Lucy latched on to the side of the ship and swung her legs back making her flip into the ship.

When she steadied her feet on board, the blonde looked at the Viking.

"Well if it isn't the Pirates of the Jerk off-ian."

The Viking drummer laughed and said,"Ye've got a lot of gall setting foot on me ship stelpa."

He stood up and continued saying."Let's go Yumil. Let's show 'er the Viking way!". The bear roared in agreement as the the Viking walked around the drum set and jumped down from the ship's platform that he was on and landed a few feet away from Lucy.

_**Yumil (the bear on Vikke's shoulder)**_

_**Favorite food: You**_

_**Hobbies: disemboweling, drinking blood, and balancing a ball on his nose**_

_**Vikke, Viking Metal Zombie**_

_**Influences: Bathory, enslaved necrophilia**_

"And I'll show you the Heartfilia way,"Lucy said revving up her chainsaw.

Lucy made the first move by raced over to Vikke and swiping her chainsaw across his chest, but the only result she got was a diagonal cut in the shirt and a laughing Viking metal zombie overlord.

"My turn,"Vikke said as he stomped once on the ground. The strong stomp made Lucy lose her balance and fall flat on her back. Vikke strode over to her and lifted his axe over his head.

"I can't wait to use yer spine for a back scratcher."He said just as he brought down his axe over Lucy's body. Lucy quickly rolled to her left careful of Gray's head. The axe landed heavily in the wood of the ship splintering it.

Lucy sprang to her feet and hacked at his legs when he was focused on getting the axe out of the wood. He quickly dislodged the axe, spun around and tried to knock her off her feet by horizontally swing his chainsaw at her, but Lucy already knew what he would do at the moment because his body language gave it away. She hopped onto the blade and swiftly embedded the blade into his shoulder.

Vikke yelled in pain and swatted at his left shoulder trying to get the girl off. Lucy yanked the chainsaw out of his shoulder and jumped off him. The large man fly over to the platform he was previously on and began to beat his drums that summoned blue lightning from the sky.

"He , Gray I think it's time I test out my new gun". Lucy switched the chainsaw on gun mode and threw it in the air. When it fell back down toward Lucy, she caught it with ease and immediately fired off bullets where Vikke retreated to. She grinned when the zombies eyes widened when her bullets grazed and hit him.

Vikke came back down on deck, he had no other choice but to fight directly. He lifted his axe up to the sky, summoning lightning and directing at the small cheerleader.

Lucy dodged and side stepped as many lightning bolts as she could, but unfortunately a stray bolt struck her immediately sending pain throughout her whole body.

"Ouch! You're gonna pay for that!" She closed her eyes and changed the gun into a chainsaw. Lucy ran up to Vikke, ducked when he swung his axe at her, and severed his top half from his bottom half. Lucy slashed his bottom half before Vikke could register what just happened to him.

The zombie man snapped out of his daze just as Lucy finished slashing his bottom half. He looked down and saw that he was now only a top half.

Yumil growled at her and Lucy stuck her tongue out at it.

"Lucy don't tease the giant bear head that likes to disembowel and eat people. Did you not pay attention to the short bio thingy?"Gray said.

"Pfft that dirty thing with mangy fur doesn't scare me."

Vikke laughed. "Yumil should scare a little blondie like you." He flew up slightly in the air and hammered the axe at Lucy.

She changed the chainsaw back into a gun and started pumping bullets into his torso while he floated around trying to chop her into bits.

"Stay still little stelpa I'll make your death quick." Vikke stopped for a moment trying to catch his breathe.

The cheerleader smirked and front flipped landing on his shoulders from behind and started to detach his head. He made gurgling and choking sounds as his head was removed from his body. The head disappeared from sight. Lucy looked around.

"Is that it?...No that can't be it..is it?"Gray asked doubtingly.

Lucy looked over to the edge of the ship to see a massive head appear out of nowhere.

"Ahahahahahaaaaaaa! I feel the power of the gods in me blood."Vikke's head rose and landed onto the deck of the ship. The man inhaled his torso that was lying on the deck into his mouth and chewed it. Blood splattered out of his mouth as the head chewed on the detached body.

"Ok now thats gross!"

Gray sweatdropped and muttered, "But you didn't find chewed food falling out of my neck was gross earlier."

Lucy held up the gun and fired her gun right in the drummer zombies eye. He howled in pain and slightly rose into the air. He roared at Lucy blowing a harsh wind from his mouth. She put up one arm in front of her face trying to block the wind from it. When the roar stopped Lucy put that arm down and reached for her whip. The girl lashed out the whip and made it wrap around one of the horns on his Viking helmet.

Vikke involuntarily jerked his head which sent Lucy flying over to him.

Lucy smirked knowingly. He did exactly what she wanted him to do. While she was flung around in the air she maneuvered her body into a position where she could swing around the horn, land on his nose and get her final blow. All actions were executed precisely catching him off guard. Lucy had him exactly where she wanted him. Lucy back flipped off of his nose and shoved the chainsaw in his mouth. In a minute she successfully cut his mouth in down diagonally from his jaw bone, horizontally across the top row of teeth in his mouth, and upward diagonally to his jaw bone. His head split apart as he screeched," Impossible! I can't be beaten by a little girl! I'm a warrior."

Lucy smiled,"I hear Viking brains are good for the complexion."

"Seriously Lucy?! Are all zombie hunters this screwed up!?"Gray yelled.

Vikke started to chant the same words Zed did and vanished into a purple spiral to Rotten World.

Suddenly the bear head, Yumil appeared out of nowhere and bee lined for Lucy.

"AHHH what did I tell you Lucy! He's gonna disembowel you and drink out blood! Noo I don't wanna go out like this! I may be a head but-"

"Shut it Gray I got this."

Lucy stood confidently as Yumil came for her. When he was in close range Lucy kicked up her leg.

" Sit down you cannibalistic bitch. Lucy kick!"Lucy said crashing her foot down on the bears head. Yumil landed on the ground squealing in pain.

"Hmph that's what I thought." All of a sudden the ship began to shake and jerk. Lucy looked to see the front stern of the boat rise up into the air. She stabbed her chainsaw into the deck of the ship to avoid falling.

"Whoa it's like the Titanic all over again!"Lucy said. She was now completely hanging from her chainsaw.

"Yea this bites my nonexistent balls."Gray added sarcastically. The ship split in have sending the lower half where Lucy was plummeting to the ground.


	8. Ch 8 Freaky Deeky Farm

**Freaky Deeky Farm**

**I own nothing**

_Recap: Erza met Gray. Lucy fought the Viking zombie lord Vikke and won(obvi). She also Lucy kicked Vikke's bear head, Yumil, to oblivion. The ship breaks in half and sends Lucy plummeting to the ground below._

_**Heads up**_

_**this chapter contains quite a bit of swearing and sweet little Wendy will be OOC**_

* * *

_Lucy was lying on a pile of wood on the ground._

"_Ugh,"she said as she picked herself up from the pile. When she stood up, the blonde surveyed her surroundings, the viking ship was sitting on her right in flames and not far away was a tractor, silo, and a few zombified cows that look like they barely escaped from the slaughterhouse._

"_I think...this is...some sort of farm,"Lucy wondered out loud._

"_Hmm. I bet any minute another one of those Dark Purveyor weirdos is going to show up, totally bumming our worlds. Don't you think Gray?" she said looking around her watching for any sign of a zombie lord. She waited for Gray to answer her but he didn't._

"_Gray?"she looked down to see if her bodiless boyfriend there, but he wasn't._

"_Gray, where are you?" Lucy said in a panicked tone looking around on the ground for his head._

"_Right here,"Gray said calmly. Lucy slowly turned around and gasping as she clapped her hands over her mouth._

_The sky rapidly grew dark while the cheerleader stared at her boyfriend._

"_What happened? I saved you!" _

_Before was Gray...but he had a body...a zombie body._

_**Gray was zombified.**_

"_I was feeling so...ineffective, just being a head and all." His voice was eerie and distant, his words echoing in Lucy's mind giving her extreme chills. Gray shuffled toward her and his arms were extended, reaching to her._

"_I thought it would be better to just go for the gusto. You know, get undead, the whole deal,'Gray chuckled._

_Lucy stared at him in pure horror. Gray's face was pale, his nice navy blue eyes were now dead and milky white,his mouth was bloody, and his raven hair now hung limply. _

_She shook her head slowly, still staring . "No...no this can't be happening!_

_Gray finally reached her and pushed the cheerleader on the ground, pinning her._

_She struggled and tried to fight him off of her but her attempts failed._

"Watch Out! Watch Out!" Someone yelled in the distance. "I can't stop it!" the voice screeched. Her dream world shattered.

"Lucy! Lucy!"Gray called. Lucy immediately bolted upward to see a graffitied bus speeding toward her. Lucy rolled out of the way and into a standing position. The bus rolled around her in circles._ I know that voice_ Lucy thought.

"Wendy?" Lucy yelled.

"Who?"Gray asked.

"My little adopted sister!"

"Let me guess. She's also a freakin zombie hunter."

"Yup!"

At that same moment the bus drove near her. A girl with long, electric blue hair stuck half her body out of the driver side window with one hand on the steering wheel and the other wildly waving to her.

"Hey Lucy! Natsu and I came to save you! Something's wrong with this bus!" Wendy sat back in the drivers seat of the bus and gripped the wheel with both hands.

"URGH! It's really frustrating! Is that a new purse? Wait! It's your boyfriend! He's a decapitated head?! FUCK ME! That's the coolest thing ever! Arrggghhhh! I almost hit a bird watch out!" the overly energetic girl exclaimed a mile a minute.

_**Wendy Marvell Heartfilia, 16**_

_**Favorite Weapon: something really destructive**_

_**Hobbies: scrapbooking, aerial dancing, terrorizing pedestrians, collecting yeti skulls**_

_**Secret Dream: To meet Justin Bieber...and add his skull to her collection (Tehee)**_

"Wendy for the love of Mavis...shut the hell up!" a voice moaned in the back.

"Natsu!" Lucy yelled.

"Hey Lucy can you tell this crazy chick to park this damn bus," Natsu groaned his face turning a apple green color.

"Shit! Sorry it's not my fault! This bus is fucked up!"Wendy said laughing.

"No it's not you just can't drive,"Natsu weakly argued.

"Yes I can! I got my liscence like a week ago,"Wendy lively argued back.

"Yea and because of that I think the DMV are idiots. Seriously you'd think they'd know a psychotic driver when they see one."

"I admit I'm not the BEST driver out there but it's not that drastic!" Wendy said pouting.

"Then how do explained the already wrecked pink Ford Mustang that you got three days ago?"

"Uhhhh... Accidents happen?"

"Wendy, you getting your drivers license was an accident."_( A/N: I know its a bad joke but I didn't know what Natsu would retort back with) _

Wendy glanced back and stuck her tongue out at the boy draped across one of the seats.

_**Natsu Dragneel Heartfilia, 18**_

_**A.K.A: Salamander or sometimes Black Hole (because he'll eat about anything and if you leave him in a room where food is, you will return to find only him and your food missing) **_

_**Favorite Weapon: flamethrower, blow torch**_

_**Hobbies: researching about dragons, eating lots of food, fighting with strong zombies**_

_**Fun Facts: has extreme motion sickness, arguing with Gray Fullbuster**_

_[Gray and Natsu know each other already]_

"Natsu why did you get in the bus with her?" Lucy asked.

"Because there was no other way for him to get here so I told him to yuck it up and be a man!"Wendy answered.

"Hahahaha! How pathetic!"Gray yelled to Natsu.

"Shutup Ice Prick!"Natsu yelled with the little energy he had.

"Come here and say it to my face Flame Ass!"Gray yelled back.

"Enough!" Lucy exclaimed before Natsu could reply or Gray could add to his insult.

"Yes Ma'am!"the boys said in unison. The bus continued to drive around in a wide round circle with Lucy still in the middle.

"Thank you. Now, Winnie (Lucy's nickname for Wendy) I'd like you to meet my boyfriend Gray."

"Hi Wendy!"Gray said.

"Wow! It's so cool!"Wendy sprightly exclaimed.

"It..."Gray muttered.

"What does the bottom of it look like?! Can you see the spine sticking out Natsu?! Yuck! Awesome! It makes me want to throw up!" Wendy continued.

"Uhm, Nice meeting you too?"Gray replied confusingly.

Wendy started shrieking and said,"AHHH you scare me!...I love it!"

"Lucy your family is really...interesting huh?"

Instead of answering Lucy sniffed the air.

"Do you smell that? Something fishy is going on,"the girl observed suspiciously.

"Nooo no way. This is all totally normal. Nothing out of the ordinary at all,"Gray sarcastically remarked.

"Hey don't get sarcastic with Luce,"Natsu called in a weak voice.

"Oh no! The brakes aren't working!" Wendy screamed.

"Oh nooo I'm going to die,"Natsu wailed.

"It's cool! I've got it all under control guys!" The bus broke from its course of circling around her and started heading straight toward Lucy.

"Oh shit! Lucy watch out,"Gray ordered. The blonde turned around to see the bus coming at her. Lucy ran to the bus.

"Lucy what are you gonna do!"

"Hold on tight Gray!"

"I've got nothing to hold on to!" The moment she was in front of the bus, Lucy jumped over the bus, and landed on the ground in a crouch.

Wendy looked out the window. "Oh fuckballs! I almost forgot!." Wendy threw a present box out the window. "Happy Birthday Lucy!" The bus rode through the farm entrance leaving Lucy and Gray.

"This..doesn't feel right,"Lucy said unable to shake the feeling that something was out of place,

"I guess we should follow that bus huh?"Gray pondered. Lucy nodded. She walked over to the present box. The tag attached to it read: _From Wendy and Natsu. _Lucy ripped off the wrapping paper and opened the box to see a Chainsaw Cannon.

"Awesome! They must've seen this on my birthday wishlist on Amazon.

Lucy strapped her chainsaw on her back and brandished her new Chainsaw Cannon.

"Let's get started Gray!" Lucy walked to the entrance of the farm.

_**Okay guys and thats the 8th chapter! Yay!**_

_**This chapter was one of those chapters that I really enjoyed writing.**_

_**As you know I added Natsu which is one character more than in the game, that's because I didn't want him to be left out. We all need our dose of the clueless dragon slayer right?**_

_**I know some of the things in the story are weird and unexplainable like her chainsaw being able to transform into a gun or motorcycle thingy, but please bare with me on it.**_


	9. Ch9 Duck! Duck! Goos- Wait! Runaway Bus?

**Duck! Duck! Goos- Wait! Runaway Bus?!**

_Recap: Lucy landed in a freaky farm with zombified cows, can't get freakier than that right? Lucy also has an equally freaky, scratch that!,creepy dream where Gray becomes a zombie._

_Anyway she wakes up just in time before a bus, driven by her cra- I mean energetic sister Wendy, used our dear blonde as a speed bump. And guess who else was there? Natsu seated in the back of the bus trying not to throw up. And thats basically it, just everyone chatting while Wendy drove the bus around in circles._

**I own nothing**

* * *

She scanned the area first, there was a dirt road, trees, a rocky terrain on the right and to the left long logs that were stacked along a large barbed fence.

"Why do we even have a farm on the campus,"Gray wondered.

"I don't know but it's really run down,"Lucy murmured. She began walking down the dirt road occasionally searching for any sign of a zombie.

"Uh oh watch out for farmer John," Gray warned. Lucy looked over to the big tree on the side of the road, there was a zombie farmer wearing overalls and a straw hat, standing in front of it bringing his hoe down repeatedly uprooting earth.

The zombie, sensing their presence, turned his head around and said,"Plow dem crops."

The moment he said those words, the ground shook beneath him as three other zombie farmers emerged digging themselves out of the ground.

"Cut the grass. It needs water,"all three groaned in unison as they got themselves up into standing position. The zombie with the hoe fully turned around and raised his hoe.

Lucy acted before the farmer could scuttle over to her; she crouched and quickly heel kicked him,causing the zombie let out a confused sound as his legs fell from under him. When she saw the farmers hoe had fallen a few feet away from him, she turned her attention to the other three who were now blocking her left and right side as well as in front of her.

She kicked the zombie in front of her square in the chest making him stumble backward. Lucy quickly turned to the zombie on her left and sliced the blade down through the farmers shoulder to hip.

"Ooo cuts like butter!" Lucy said observing how easily she cut through the body. She was about to turn around to deal with the other two when suddenly a cold clammy grip tightened around her left ankle. Lucy looked down to see "Farmer John"s milky white eyes looking at her as he jerked the hand that gripped her ankle in an pathetic attempt to make her stumble.

"Hey! No looking up my skirt you perv!" Lucy swept her chainsaw down, detaching his arm. The moment the grip loosened, she placed her foot on top of the zombies head holding it in place as she horizontally swung her chainsaw across its neck ,like a golfer would swing his club.

"Lucy duck!"

The blonde did as she was told and looked above her seeing the zombie swinging the hoe at the spot she was previously standing. She twisted around to see the gap between the zombies legs. She brought her chainsaw up in between his legs and sliced the undead farmer up the middle as she got into standing position.

" I'm glad I just so happened to wear my zombie-fighting underwear today!"Lucy squealed as she started walking to the now visible clearing at the end of the dirt road.

"What?"

"Master Makarov said wearing cotton underwear with little teddy bears or hearts is best for doing battle. He'd make me wear em to every class!"

"I'm so creeped out right now."

"Theres nothing creepy about zombie-fighting underwear." Lucy was now standing at the entrance of the clearing where the rusty bus began circling around again..

"Lucy, thats not what I was creeped out about."

Before she could reply Wendy screamed," Shitmuffins I can't get it to stop! Aaagh!" Looked at the window, viewing the energetic girl desperately gripping the stiff wheel.

"Look! The zombies are attacking Wendy's bus,"she said pointing at the zombies climbing and banging on the roof of the bus.

"There looks to be about 15 of them on the roof. I'll just shoot at them." Lucy pressed a glowing yellow star button on the chainsaw and watched the machine morph into a chainsaw gun. The blonde held up the gun and closed one eye so she could get a good look at her target.

The sound of shots rang out in the air as Lucy took down the zombies one after another.

Just as Lucy shot at the last zombie, Wendy yelled,"You zombies are seriously UGLY! You make me wanna gag!"

"Wendy! Natsu! Hold on!" Lucy called running to the circling bus.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! No,no,no! Aaagh!" Wendy frustratedly exclaimed.

'What's wrong?" Gray yelled.

Before Wendy could retort back the bus broke out of its circular course and rammed into and through the large fence leading Lucy's two sibling away from her.

"Damnit!"Lucy shouted stomping her foot. As if on cue zombie farmers dug themselves out of the ground. Lucy swiftly acted by shooting the zombie horde in the heads before they could completely get themselves out of them ground.

"This place is seriously creeping me out. My not-heart is beating a million miles an hour."

"Yea I agree theres something out of place here,"she replied before breaking out into a run to catch up with the speeding bus.

Grays head kept bumping on his girlfriend's butt and he was beginning to get a headache.

"I always liked your rock hard Lucy, but it's kinda hurting the back of my skull,"he said wishing he had a hand to rub his aching head.

"Shutup Gray! I know you're being ironic because of my enormous butt! Ugh!"

Lucy was almost at the fence when it suddenly slammed shut and a chain with a lock snaked around the two bars that would allow access through the fence and locked the fence. She stepped back at first but then walked up to the fence. Lucy tried yanking it open but the lock kept it the entrance closed.

"This has Dark Purveyor written all over it,"Lucy said eyeing the lock and chain suspiciously. Lucy revved up her chainsaw in an attempt to break the chains, but her chainsaw didn't put a single scratch on it.

"Now what are we gonna do?"

"Hmm,"she turned around and spotted a glowing blue headless zombie body clawing its way out of the ground.

"Perfect!" Lucy squealed and jumped in a herky.

"What? That's not good!"

"Uh huh because I need you to do something for me."

"Lucy I have no body there's not much I could do."

"Yea but remember when I said I used a spell to preserve your bodiless head? Well you also gained some supernatural powers/abilities from that spell."

"I don't like the sound of this...What abilities?"

"Like...mayyybeeee I can connect you to that zombies body and you can temporarily use it,"Lucy explained as innocently as a child would ask for candy.

"...Lucy..."

"Erm. Gray don't be mad. It's actually coo-"

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier! That's awesome!"

Lucy looked down at Gray with a expression of pure shock.

"Put me on that sucker!"

"Really?! Great!" Lucy unhooked his head from her belt loop and held his head level to her eyes. She carefully walked over to the motionless glowing body and stuck Gray on top, screwing his head in place.

"Man it feels so good to have a body again,"Gray said looking at the glowing hands flexing them.

"Yup! So I need to give me a boost up over the fence. You know 42H?"

"Alright!" Gray exclaimed stripping off the varsity jacket that was previously on the glowing body.

Lucy started backing up slowly to the fence to guide Gray.

"Okay it might be hard to pilot a body that wasn-"she started.

"Shit!"Gray exclaimed as he lose balance when he tried stepping forward.

"No no you're good keep moving towards me." Lucy cheerfully urged him to her as he stumbled and tripped over to the fence.

When Gray got there he quickly prepped himself for maneuver 42H. Lucy got a running start and jumped into Gray's cupped hands.

"Up ya go babe."The boy quickly launched her in the air over the other side of the fence.

"Hey! Quit copping a feel with your disgusto zombie hands!"

"Sorry!" Gray said as he unscrewed his head from the zombie body and was thrown over the fence along with Lucy, who caught his head with one hand.

"Back you go." Lucy hooked him back on her hip.

"Aww."

Lucy ran to to the fence a several yards away from her. The moment she passed the silo, the ground began to shake.

"Arrrggghh."

Lucy turned around to see a fat zombie picking himself off of the ground from his previous belly flop.

"I got hemorrhoids,"the white haired zombie said.

"Whoa! You're the fattest zombie I've ever seen!" Lucy exclaimed looking at the zombie whose body wiggled like gelatin, you could hear the bubbling in his massive stomach.

He began to roar at her.

"Oh wait -sorry- I didn't mean to be insensitive...die!" Lucy pressed another button on her chainsaw. She listened to the sound of metal gears grinding and shifting inside the machine as she propped it on her shoulder.

"I'm going to test out my new cannon on you." The blonde fired the cannon, staggering back from the impact of the weapon. The blast of energy hit the big zombie man in the gut sinking into his body fat but not doing any damage. The zombie stomped his foot in the ground which made her slightly lose her footing. He took her momentary loss of balance as an opening and rushed over to her. He swiftly grabbed her leg and flung her down to the ground making the busty cheerleader lose her grip on the handle of the cannon which fell a few feet away from her. While the big man tried to catch his breath she crawled over to the chainsaw cannon. The jiggling zombie started towards her.

"Die girlie!"

"No thanks." Lucy grabbed her cannon just in time and rolled over. Before the zombie could stomp on her she aimed it at the zombie's stomach again. Lucy sent off another more powerful blast that pierced through the zombie's stomach leaving a gaping hole.

"Yay!" she cheered jumping up.

"Noooo I'm dying! And fat as f**k!" the dying thing said falling to its knees.

"Yeah yeah yeah whatever."

**Extra! Extra! Read All About It!**

This is just a minor A/N. I had a goal to make the chapters longer but I couldn't do it. So I am going to make a part two for **"Duck! Duck! Goos- Wait! Runaway Bus?!"**

But if you think its unnecessary let me know. Later.


	10. Ch 10 Hallucinations (RevisedFin)

**Hallucinations**

_**Continuation of Ch 9**_

_Recap: Lucy and Gray fought off a few zombie farmers. No biggie. Gray found out that Lucy gave him a supernatural power. Like the ability to have his head put on glowing zombie bodies and that he could control the body for a short amount of time. Nothing crazy right? Oh and she fought a fat zombie that looked like the KFC guy. If you're American then you know what I'm talking about...I hope you do._

_**I own nothing**_

_**Update:**__** New ending. Next chap is boss fight with another zombie lord.**_

* * *

Lucy saw Wendy's bus (infested with zombies on the exterior again) in the clearing ramming the fence.

A zombie with buck teeth and a straw hat was the first to notice her presence turned to her and said," Where dem chickens!" The two other zombies looked up, saw her, and jumped off of the bus beelining for her. She kicked the first zombie to approach her in the head with so much force that it fell off, rolling on the ground. The next zombie lunged for Lucy, who easily dodged him by sidestepping.

"My turn,"she announced and smirked. She revved up the glowing chainsaw and shoved the long blade right in the middle of the zombies torso. She turned the blade around in a circle and suddenly yanked it out of the zombies body. That's when the buck tooth zombie saw his chance to get the distracted girl, by grabbing one of Lucy's bright blonde pigtail and yanking it hard.

Lucy gritted her teeth at the sharp pain. She kept trying to reach her chainsaw around to at least cut his arm off but failed.

"Wen!" Lucy called. The moment she called out for her sister an axe flew out of an open window and detached the hand that previously had a hold on her hair. The zombie let out a shriek as it waved its handless arm around. Lucy picked up the axe that had fallen to the ground after the detachment and smiled sadistically.

"Uh Lucy. I don't like that look you're giving that zombie," Gray said worriedly.

"Oh don't worry Gray. I'm just going to make him pay for that," she said cheerfully although her face said otherwise. The zombie too sensed something different with the blonde because he began to back up.

"Oh no you don't," Lucy said as she waved her finger at him slowly. The zombie continued to retreat until it's back hit the fence.

Lucy watched the zombie begin to panic as it realized he was trapped. Her smile stretched wide like the cheshire cats as she raised the axe.

"Any last words?"

The zombie nodded and began speak incoherent words.

"Huh? I can't hear you," she said turning her head aside and cupping her ear.

"Lucy stop toying with the poor thing and kill it. You're freaking me out!"Gray yelled.

"Aww Gray you're no fun!" Lucy pouted playfully. She started hacking at the zombie with the axe, dicing its body into chunks.

"Ok ok Lucy stop!" Gray called bringing her back into reality.

"Oopsie. Got a lil carried away huh?" she bashfully said staring at the bloody hacked body and limbs.

"Ya think?"

Lucy shrugged. Then she remembered that Natsu and Wendy was in the bus that was still trying to ram through the fence.

"Hey Wen! Thanks for thro-"the blonde started before the bus finally rammed through the gates and speed on the dirt road making sharp turns trying to avoid the many small animal houses that were sprinkled all over the area.

"-wing the axe..."Lucy finished. Her cell phone vibrated.

She got her phone and put the passcode in. It read

_(9) Voicemail_

_Wen 7/1 12:55_

_Mom 7/1 12:32_

_Mom 7/1 12:23_

_Natsu 7/1 12:00_

_Erza 7/1 11:49_

_Erza 7/1 10:52_

_Mom 7/1 10:37_

_Dad 7/1 10:30_

_Mom 7/1 9:45_

"Thats weird...Wendy just called me,"Lucy mumbled.

"Hmm?'

"Something's wrong Gray. We have to go after her." She looked around her for something that she could use to catch up with that runaway bus. Fortunately she found a tractor. The cheerleader ran over to the tractor, got in quickly, and started it up. The engine came to life and began to go forward.

"Ugh it's too slow!" the blonde said stomping on the gas pedal. She grabbed the gear shift and jerked upward which caused the tractor to get faster.

"Now we're talking!" she cheered as she began to follow the bus.

Within a few minutes she caught up to the bus which was sitting there on the dirt road wedged in between tall shady trees and the rocky terrain.

"Wen!"

No response.

"Maybe she didn't hear you,"Gray said. Lucy shook her head. Wendy was never one to be silent, neither was Natsu but that was besides the point.

The blonde jumped out of the tractor and ran over to the rear of the bus. "Wen! Natsu! Get out of that bus quick!,"Lucy yelled in her loud cheer captain voice.

Then the bus slowly lurched forward like a roller coaster ride. On the rocky terrain a zombie farmer was rolling a boulder over to the edge with intent for the boulder to hit the bus.

"Get off my farm," he groaned.

"Quit trying to kill Natsu and Wendy you jerks!"Gray yelled.

Lucy pressed the button on the chainsaw to turn it into gun mode. She quickly shot the boulder which exploded into turned into small rocks. The bus started ti lurch forward once more. Lucy spotted another zombie pushing a boulder into the road. She quickly shot the boulder and then the zombie.

"Nice shot Lu!"

Another zombie began pushing a boulder from a higher ledge. The blonde leveled the gun and closed one eye to get better perception. The zombie successfully rolled the boulder off the ledge and cheered at its success, until Lucy shot in mid air. The explosion caused the bus to rock as it continued on the dirt road.

She started to run after the bus but was interrupted by a tree falling over in the road. But this didn't stop her as she front flipped over the fallen tree and turned around the corner where the bus was idling in another clearing.

"Finally! Wendy! Natsu! Get out of that bus!"Lucy called as she ran over to the bus.

No response.

"I said Get out of that bus. Now!"

Silence.

Her eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Where are you Wendy?" she whispered.

Lucy looked up to see more boulders on the cliff that looked dangerously close to falling. Lucy ran to the back of the bus and climbed onto the ladder to the roof of the bus.

She quickly reached into the pocket of her utility belt and pulled out a few bullets and reloaded her gun.

"Hey Wendy! Are you still in the bus?" Gray yelled.

The bus jerked backward as it was put in reverse. Lucy temporarly lost balance and tried to look for something to hold onto.

"Wait? Why's she driving? She's going to knock your head off!" Gray shouted.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you see that low ledge in front of us?"

"Oh...That'd be so sweet though! We'd be matching!"

* * *

_**_Time skip past the boulder shooting to the boss battle intro_**_

"Hurry up Lucy! Get in!" Wendy shouted.

Lucy jumped down off of the roof and walked over to the bus's open door.

She smiled brightly when she saw her sister acting energetic and actually responding to her.

Wendy waved her in. "Why are you just standing there? Come on!"

Lucy nodded and walked onto the bus. Wendy immediately started driving.

"Wendy. I was worried about you! Are you okay?"

"Yeah I guess," Wendy calmly replied and looked to Lucy. "This stupid bus broke down! But I fixed it."

"Hey Wendy! Nice meeting you up close...Um...hm?" Gray suspiciously looked at the girl in the drivers seat.

Wendy sat there with her eyes on the road as she rocked from side to side, humming.

Lucy noticed something suspicious about her sister as well.

"How did you fix the bus, Wendy?"

Wendy is still humming.

Lucy decided to continue. " Just last week you took your car to the shop because you didn't knw cars need OIL... How could you know how to..."

Wendy began to hum louder then she broke out into a maniacal giggle.

"Wendy..uh..where are we going?" Gray asked.

Wendy pressed on the gas more and the bus speed up.

"And where's Natsu?"Lucy said glancing in the back.

More laughter.

"Wendy?...hey,"Lucy started before the bus jerked back making her fall in to seat.

Lucy looked up and at the angle she was in, she could see Wendy's reflection in the rearview mirror.

Wendy's face was now a dull green-gray color and her lips were a dull purple.

"What the heck?"

Wendy began to laugh louder and wilder. Her voice changed and it sounded as if she had two voices speaking at the same time. Her sisters eyes changed from blue to the left eye being an acidic green and the right a milky white color.

"We're headed towards,"she said in between laughs,"your grave." Wendy's mouth had a long row of stitches that curved up into a smile. Lucy saw a kaleidoscope of colors before she passed out.

**All right so next chapter is coming out later today so keep a sharp eye out. Sorry that this chapter wasn't any better than before but it's finished.**


	11. Ch 11 Psychedelic Psycho

**Psychedelic Psycho**

_Recap:__So Lucy is stuck chasing after the dumb bus. She kills more zombies. Blah blah blah. But there was that one time when the zombie pulled her hair and then she went crazy. But we are defintely not gonna talk about that. _

_She catches up with Wendy, who is acting completely Coo Coo for Cocoa Cocoa Puffs. Then Lucy passes out. Fair enough right? _

_**Don't own anything.**_

* * *

"Where the hell are we?" Lucy asked looking around. There were buses shaped into a ring. The farm scenery was now a kaleidoscope of colors. Lucy walked over to the edge and looked down into the dark center of the bus ring. A bubble emerged from the hole and floated up above the middle of the ring.

"Great. Another one of these weirdos,"Gray drawled on gesturing to the figure inside the bubble.

The zombie lord laughed and strung her guitar.

"Ah sister Lucy. And brother Gray. Lets travel beyond the Doors of Perception," the female hippie lord said.

"Step outside the boundaries of your mind, lose yourself in the eternal, collective unconscious...and ROT," the hippie continued.

"Ugh! Listen lady why don't try..I don't know..some deodorant? Because you smell like shit,"Lucy said as she pointed her chainsaw at the hippie."

"Or a shower,"Gray added.

The Dark Purveyor laughed. "Ahh this one was just as insolent."

Another bubble appeared and in it was Wendy hugging her knees and head was buried behind her kneecaps.

"Wendy!"

The zombie let out another laugh and strung her guitar as she said,"Now open your heart, and let my music guide you."

The zombie strung her guitar again which made Wendy look up and laugh darkly.

"Into the world of everlasting peace...," the hippie flipped Lucy off and continued,"and Rot...and Hell."

**Mariska, Psychedelic Zombie**

**Influences: Jefferson Airplane, Aldous Huxley, and ****BAD**** fashion sense.**

Lucy bared her teeth at the smelly psychedelic weirdo.

"Flow on, child... into the rush of chaos and dark..."

Lucy changed her chainsaw into the cannon and hoisted it on her shoulder. She quickly aimed the cannon at the bubble and fired.

It hit the bubble dead on. Mariska's bubble fell slightly from the impact of the explosion.

Lucy quickly sent off another blast but Mariska dodged it. The hippie laughed and raised her arms, which caused more bubbled to form and charge right for Lucy.

The cheerleader ducked and flipped over the bubbles. But suddenly a stray bubble hit her back and exploded on contact, making Lucy fall forward on all fours.

She immediately picked herself back up and winced at the burning pain in her back where the bubble exploded.

Mariska began to laugh and strummed the guitar strings again.

Lucy staggered slightly as she tried to balance the cannon in a way that would avoid her to feel angry burning sensation in her back.

Closing one eye, Lucy aimed and fired two blasts at Mariska. The bubble popped and Mariska (somehow) fell atop the roof of a bus.

Lucy quickly jumped into action by changing the cannon back into a chainsaw and charged over to the fallen zombie.

Mariska was just sitting back up at the moment Lucy came over and brought the chainsaw atop her head and sliced it down the body.

The sound Mariska screams of agony and the mechanic sound of the chainsaw bounced off and echoed on the walls of the psychedelic dimension.

Lucy finished slicing through the body and looked at her work with satisfaction, until the two halves of Mariska's body began to levitate.

The female zombie's halves both laughed and said,"One truth becomes two."

A weird green smoke came from out of the incomplete halves as the other side of the halve of the incomplete halve became a whole, making two whole Mariska bodies.

Lucy stepped back. Both Mariska's snarled at her. Then both Mariskas dug their hands in the middle of their body (where Lucy cut through with her chainsaw).

"Two truths become four,"they said as they ripped themselves apart from the other half and multiplied into four separate bodies.

"I'm not really sure how I should feel about this,"Gray mumbled.

The four bodies were individually enveloped in another bubble and they began to float above the hole again.

Lucy changed her chainsaw into a gun and loaded it up swiftly. The four Mariskas in a bubble spun around in a circle that sent out more explosive bubbles.

"Look out!,"Gray warned.

Lucy nodded, spun around and shot at all five bubbles with ease. She quickly turned her attention to one of the Mariska bubbles and shot at it. The bubble easily burst and the Mariska inside of it disappeared.

Lucy shot at two more and they quickly disappeared as the bubble that surrounded them burst.

"You have very weak decoys Dirty Hippie."

Mariska glared at the cheerleader and strummed her guitar.

A large machine chicken head emerged from the dark hole.

"Bwack!"

"What...the...fu-,"Gray began before the large chicken brought down it's beak atop one of the buses near Lucy. The chicken retracted its head back and the place that it pecked now had a dent.

The chicken head was still for a few seconds and then it started a series of pecking. Each peck neared Lucy. The blonde grabbed her whip and unfurled it by snapping the whip at the chicken.

When she got its attention, she cracked her whip again. The whip wrapped and tightened around the chickens neck.

"Bwack!" The chicken tried to jerk away but Lucy held a firm grip. She took a deep breath and yanked the whip with all her strength, this caused the chicken head to fall forward on one of the buses. The moment it hit the bus, the chicken head wiggled like jello and then vanished.

"Great! Now shoot that hippie Lucy!"

Lucy aimed the chainsaw gun at Mariska and fired off a good amount of rounds.

The bubble surrounding the zombie lord popped and once again she fell on the ground.

Lucy raced over to the fallen zom and repeated the actions she did before.

This time instead of Mariska multiplying into four of herself, she multiplied into six.

As all 6 of the Mariskas began to float in their bubble, multi colored butterflies appeared in the scenery flapping their wings, then the scenery changed into multiple eye blinking and looking down at them.

**-Time Skip-**

It had been around 8 more minutes of fighting and Lucy was fed up.

Lucy sliced down diagonally on the hippies body. Suddenly the "reality" they were in started to shattered like broken glass. The farm scenery they had seen right after the Viking ship crash slowly came back.

But Lucy didn't have time to notice the changing reality because she was dead set on finishing this woman off.

"Choke on your Birkenstocks you psilocybin-munching moron!" Lucy screamed before she switched her chainsaw gun back into her celestial chainsaw and began charge over to the hippie.

"Heavy,"Mariska said calmly strumming a tune on her guitar.

"Peace out...Way out,"the woman said bringing up her hand and making a peace sign as she giggled darkly.

"See ya!" Lucy exclaimed as she sliced the head clean off.

**Mariska is probably one of my fave bosses in the game. She was cool in her own way. Anyway I'll probably write the next chapter later today because it's easy and I don't have to plan out actions and movements too much.**


	12. Ch 12 Daddy!

**Gray, uhm meet my...Dad**

_Recap: Lucy and Gray finally caught up to Wendy, and she was acting mega weird. Turns out that it wasn't Wendy in the bus after all. Instead Mariska the Dirty Hippie Dark Purveyor _

_( what-a-mouthful) was behind the wheel the whole time. Lucy fights the psychedelic maniac. Blah blah blah._

**I don't own LC or FT**

* * *

"Meus Vita, Rege, pro nefario coepto" Mariska's voice droned as the hippie turned into a swirling purple cloud that went into the sky.

"Whoa we've been here the whole time,"Gray said finally observing their surroundings.

Lucy looked around and then noticed her younger sister wasn't there.

"Wendy! She's still not here."

"Neither is Natsu,"Gray added before Lucy's cellphone began to ring. Lucy rammed the blade of her chainsaw into the dirt and extracted her cell from her belt.

"Hey there Luuuu~ cyyyyy~ are you ready to boogie woogie?!" a badly autotuned voice asked followed by a chuckle.

"Who is this?" Lucy demanded as she put her hand on her hip.

"The. One. You. Ain't. Gonna. Level. Up. On."

"Why are you pretending to be Stephen Hawking?" Lucy said irritatedly as she reached into her pocket and grabbed a few pieces of her special candy.

"Does that make you Lucy Hawking then?" Gray joked.

"Mmm no Gray. That was a bad joke." A fly began to buzz around Gray's face just as Lucy went back to her call.

"Anyway I've got the freaky little superfreak right here!" the voice on the other line boasted.

"Get your hands off me you zombie pedo!" Wendy yelled.

Gray began to shake his head vigorously in an attempt to swat the fly away.

"Gray stop moving your head I can't concentrate."

"Lucy! Don't worry about me I-" Wendy began before Lucy heard her sisters muffled screams.

The auto tuned maniac got back on the phone and said," If you want your sister back baby you need to win a game with me. Make your way to the Fulci Fun Center. I can't wait to party with your corpse like it's 1983!"

Lucy frustratedly kicked her foot in the dirt.

"It's a trap Lucy. We can't run in there alone."

"We don't have any choice Gray,"she said looking down at her boyfriend,"who's going to help us?"

Before Gray could conjure up a reply, the ground beneath Lucy's feet began to tremor slightly. She listened closely to her a engine of a vehicle approaching them.

Lucy turned around to see a head light beaming in her face and suddenly the approaching vehicle swerved to the side.

"Hey baby girl!" the man on the motorcycle said.

Lucy gasped,"Daddy!"

_**Dad A.K.A Jude Heartfilia**_

_**Age: 44**_

_**Fave Weapon: His own G.D. fists**_

_**Fave Food: PB and pickle sandwich**_

_**Skillz: Life taking, baby making, bone breaking and runs a damn good family business**_

_**Unknown Fact: Cries anytime a dog dies on TV ( definitely don't let him see**__** I Am Legend**__**, **__**Marley and Me**__**, and **__**Old Yeller**__** because he is all waterworks)**_

* * *

_**~Time Skipping on the way to Fulci Fun Center~**_

The motorcycle purred as they sped through the streets on their way to the large arcade building in the city located near the campus.

Lucy was sitting in the sidecar connected to her dads motorcycle, holding Gray. She glanced down at her watch. It read_ 7:30._

"I'm worried about Natsu and especially Wendy," Lucy exclaimed worriedly.

"Well Natsu is fine he was with me before I came to pick ya'll up. And Wendy? Hell that girl knows trouble like apple knows pie," he reassured Lucy and gave her a warm glance.

"Um- excuse me Mr. Heart-,"Gray started.

Jude looked over to Gray and pointed a finger at him. "Boy you be careful now 'bout where you're touching my daughter."

"Oh sorry sir um.." Gray started once again until Jude twisted the bikes handlebar making it go faster which caused him to jerk out of Lucy's grasp.

"We gotta be careful about this Wendy sitchiation, so she don't get hurt," Jude said changing the subject. But Lucy on the other hand decided to press on with the matter.

"So, I, uh guess the two of you haven't been properly introduced huh? Dad this is-"

"Gray. I know. You told me all about him. Failed to mention the, uh, disability," the older man said gesturing to Gray's head.

"Well it's kind of a new thing sir-" Gray began but was cut off once again when Jude accelerated the speed. _What the hell is wrong with this man _Gray ferociously thought.

After a minute of awkward silence, Jude finally spoke up.

"You seem like a fine person, but whatever dude Lucy ends up with is gonna be part of the family business." Jude turned to look at Gray. "What are you gonna do, throw magic stars at a chupacabras with your tongue?" the man added before looking back to the rode.

"Maybe Dad. Gray's tongue is really limber," Lucy said trying to come to Gray's aid.

But her aid backfired as Jude yelled," AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!"

"NO! She doesn't! She doesn't know that at all sir! She has no idea if my tongue was limber," Gray quickly interjected.

Jude speed up the bike and made a sharp turn, swerving the bike. Gray fell out of Lucy's grasp and his head hit the sidecar window.

"Ouch!"

"We're here."

All three of them looked up to the old fashioned gaming system.

"What in the hell kind of place is this?" Jude asked, completely bewildered.

"It's the Fulci Fun Center Dad, where all the kids from Fairy High hang out after school."

Lucy got out of the side car and put Gray on her hip again. Lucy knelt down and began to use a piece of chalk she randomly found in her belt.

"Look at this," she said motioning for her dad to come over to her.

On the asphalt, Lucy drew an elaborate picture of the building, and of the three of them.

"Okay this is the plan. I'll head into the building through the entrance, kay? Daddy you go and sneak in from around the back. I'll act as the decoy and attract the zombies attention to me, where you go up to the roof where Wendy should be."

"Uh, Luce. You just made yourself a decoy."

Before Lucy responded, teardrops plopped onto one of the chalk drawings.

"Is it raining?" Gray wondered aloud.

Lucy and Gray looked up and discovered the source of all the tears was Jude.

"Is there a dead dog somewhere?" Gray whispered.

"Gray that's not cool."  
"I'm sorry I read his description."

"What's wrong Daddy?"

"Nothing, its just my baby girl is a tactical genius," Jude said, in a split second he got himself together and presented her a gift box.

"Your mom and me got you a little something special for your birthday. Happy birthday princess."

"Thanks Daddy," Lucy said as she gingerly took the gift box.

"Well alright I'm off," Jude said stretching.

"Good luck sir. You're gonna do awesome I'm sure of it."

"Stop sucking up son. And don't think I forgot that tongue stuff neither. You best watch what you're doing with my daughter when you're in the shadows," Jude said pointing an accusing finger at Gray before walking off.

"I think he really liked you," Lucy said to Gray.


End file.
